Breaking point

Until now I think I've done ok with the working parent thing. I work 2-3 days a week and the kids are either in nursery or with Andy. I manage to keep the two separate and if I need to get any work stuff done in between my days I can do it in the evening.

Things are changing. The business is demanding more of my time and the two worlds are colliding with catastrophic effects. (not actually catastrophic but it sounds dramatic, huh?)

We don't have a receptionist at work. Initially this was down to cost and we were able to manage bookings and phone calls through a phone answering service. Now, however, we're getting busier and clients need answering throughout the day.

Because we're so busy Andy is in appointments all day so it falls to me to deal with the new clients. All well and good if I'm physically there but trying to juggle therapists, clients and answering new queries, all whilst trying to give my children the attention they need is getting the better of me.

Something's gotta give, I need a solution. Until then, I'll be the gibbering wreck in the corner clutching the bottle of gin.

Home-baked brioche

Brioche. Is it bread or cake? Bread? Cake? Cakey-bread? Ok, so it's probably bread but it starts life as a cake-mix. Whatever it is, my kids can't get enough of it, their little middle-class requests of 'can I have brioche, please?' echoing around the house on a regular basis.

It's not ideal as a snack but better than cake and not too bad as an afternoon pick-me up occasionally. It's fair to say we go though it a fair amount.

So today I had a go at making it myself. Thing is, homemade bread is seen as this time-consuming, faffy persuit but the actual 'hands on' stuff probably only takes 20 minutes. The rest of the time is taken waiting. And waiting. Which is cool if you have a few hours at home, it's all good.

I turned to Richard Bertinet and adapted a recipe from his Dough book (which is excellent by the way) and it turned out pretty good. I'm pretending Max didn't say he prefers the shop version though. Rude.

You will need:

250ml whole milk, warmed to lukewarm
Sachet fast action yeast
500g Strong bread flour
60g Butter at room temperature
40g Caster sugar
Tsp salt
2 large eggs
1 egg, beaten, for the egg wash

1. Mix the yeast into the flour and rub the butter in with your fingertips until it resembles fine breadcrumbs (I just chucked it in a food processor. Sorry, Mr B)

2. Mix in the sugar and salt. You can also add chocolate chips or raisins at this stage-yum

3. Add the eggs and milk and stir well until it comes together in a wet dough

4. Turn out and knead for 5-10 minutes until smooth and elastic (or if you have an elecric mixer, whack it in with the dough hook on a slow speed for 5 minutes). It's pretty sticky so if it's not coming together, add more flour

5. Mould into a ball by stretching the top around and tucking underneath then transfer to a lightly floured bowl

6. Leave for an hour to prove until roughly doubled in size

7. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and divide into 3 equally-sized balls

8. Divide each ball into a further 5 equally-sized balls

9. Roll each ball into a short, fat sausage and brush with the egg wash

10. Place widely-spaced on a baking tray (or 2) and leave to prove again for an hour

11. Pre-heat the oven to 220C and bake for 8-10 mins until lighly coloured

12. Transfer to a wire rack to cool and test your willpower by trying to wait until cool enough to eat. Yum.

Tour De South Glos.

What to do when the kids have gone to their Grandparents for lunch?

a) Go out for lunch? 
    No money

b) Go back to bed?
    There's a danger we may never wake up

c) Stay home and catch up with jobs around the house?
    Not a chance

d) Go for a bike ride together?
    YES!

So off we went, a 22 mile jaunt (route) around the best lanes South Gloucestershire has to offer. We spent the time daydreaming about living in one of the many quiet villages we passed though, almost being taken out by a sparrowhawk and narrowly missing a collision with a beaten up Rover.

And the rain waited until we got back. Result.

All change

So, we've been a bit quiet around here lately. Reflective, I guess and quietly freaking out about the change which is about to smack us in the face in 4 short weeks' time.

As Finn starts school, I'm changing my working hours, you see. His school don't do any after school clubs and certainly for the first months I want to be there to pick him up, hear all about his day and sit and do his homework with him (yes, really. At 4 years old).

I'm very lucky that I can do this. Part of the reason we started the business was to allow us the flexibility to work around family commitments and this is starting to pay off. So I'll work an extra day and finish in time for the school run.

The nursery Max goes to at the moment runs from 8-6 including school holidays. Which is great, and has been until this point but we do pay substantially for the privilege and even with the 15 hours free childcare that all 3 & 4 year-olds are entitled to in this country, it costs big at the start of each month. (You can use a maximum of 6 hours of the grant each day, in term time only so we still pay wraparound care for the other 4 hours a day and school holidays.)

So I kind of begrudge paying for evenings and school holidays when I'm going to be home anyway with Finn. I made the decision to move Max to a lovely local pre-school which is term-time only, and runs from 9-4. This will take his nursery fees from around £250 a month down to just £80. Bit of a no-brainer, really.

Your first child starting school is a big deal, right? I've written before about how much I'll miss him and my (irrational) worries for him but with all the anxiety (me) and excitement (him, thankfully) surrounding the beginning of this new adventure, I've not stopped to consider Max and how this new routine will affect him.

Since the day he was born, he's had Finn right at his side. I always think of the first-born as the pioneer, taking on life's experiences and carving out the way for their sibling(s). Finn was first to go to nursery, first to go to the activity clubs, first to walk, talk and hit the big milestones. By the time Max reached them, Finn was already there. Watching out for him, keeping him company and providing a familiar, comforting presence each time.

For the first time, Max is to do something alone and it's upsetting me more now than Finn starting school. Max already clings and cries when I leave him at nursery, the sounds of 'Mummy!' chasing me as I leave the building (I must point out that he's stopped by the time I reach the front door and always has an amazing time at nursery, as I see when I collect him) and now I have to leave him somewhere new. New people, new environment, new children.

And for the first time ever he won't have his brother there. Alone. I'm actually near tears now thinking about it. How silly is that? Parents go through this all the time. It's something he needs to do, I want him to learn independence and confidence and all the things which go with growing up but I can't shake off the feeling that he's still my baby and still needs protecting. Insane, I know since he's just turned 3 but there you go.

He'll be fine. He's been for visits and cried when I had to take him home (surely a good sign?!). The ladies who run the group are brilliant and provide excellent, inspiring, fun activities to fill the day. He'll make friends who'll probably be going up to school with him and this is important, that he'll have familiar faces when he starts big school, making that transition much easier. And we'll have more time together. An extra 2 hours when he's collected and all those school holidays, ripe for adventuring.

He's excited, Finn's excited and I'm freaking out. The best thing I can do now is just keep my trap shut, keep this as exciting as I can for them and not allay my anxieties onto them and spoil what should be (and is) a happy, positive time in their lives. They need to learn a life independent of me, of each other and I know they'll have a ball. And you know what? I'm their Mum. No matter where they are or what they do, I'll ALWAYS be right there at their side.

P.S. Is it kind of ironic that as I conclude a post about how they look after each other, they're pounding on each other in the living room? Gotta go...

Where do YOU do it?

With 2 pre-schoolers (1 for not much longer, sniff), a job and home to look after I don't have an awful lot of time left for hobbies. Luckily I can fit fitness into my life by combining it with the other stuff, like cycling to work and taking the boys to play in the gym creche but other things, like knitting and crochet are much more difficult. If any of you have under-fives and have also ended up with mummified children, you'll know exactly what I mean.

The ONE occasion this actually happened

So once the kids are in bed, I have my tea then use the peace and quiet to get some hooking (no, not that type of hooking, filthy) done in front of the TV until I fall asleep. Which admittedly isn't very long these days. It does mean that projects take a bloody lifetime to finish though and often I then get bored and start new projects all the time. Cue about 5 items on the go at any one time.

Our holidays often involve long drives (camping in Scotland, anyone?) so I now use the opportunity to grab my crochet hook and usually manage to get at least 1 project finished by the end of the holiday.

The Mama One. Modelled by a sleepy Max (this doesn't happen often either)

As we had the mother of long drives this month I took the opportunity to not only start but actually finish a blanket I've been wanting to make for a while. I have a Mama-sized one which I made ages ago and still have lots of yarn left over so made a shrunk-down version (with a few changes) for the shop. I'm really pleased with it and have it up for sale over on Etsy already.

Baby-sized version

I started a similar one in 2 colours with some oh-so-soft Debbie Bliss Cashmerino yarn I had left over from yet another abandoned project. I may have to wait until the next road trip to get it finished though. That's not an excuse to book another holiday is it? Really?

So I'd like to know, where do you do it? On the bus? On your lunch break? Weekends and birthdays only? Do tell, I'd love to hear from you.

Three

I tried to do this before we went away, to post on his actual birthday but it turns out preparing for a 2 week break with 2 children takes up quite alot of time. Who knew?

Anyhow, here is a clip of my boy's life so far. 3 years in 3 minutes...



P.S. How do I make it smaller so it fits better - anyone know?

A Spanish-French adventure

This week we returned from probably the best holiday we've had in years. My brother got married just outside Girona and we took the opportunity to make the most of it and have a 2 week Spanish break.

Thanks to my fear of flying (and not being able to pop valium or get wasted on vodka as I would have in times gone by) we booked a ferry to France, 3 stops on the way down and prepared ourselves for a 4-day adventure with 2 under-5s.

I was apprehensive about the car travel and wondered how the boys would be but I prepared activity packs for them, plenty of snacks and drinks and an iPad loaded up with Peppa Pig and they were fine. They slept ALOT in the car which was great for the journey itself but my God did we pay for it in the evenings when they became incredible non-sleeping children.

We stopped in Tours, Sarlat-La-Caneda and Carcasonne on the way down. We then crossed the border and drove to the wedding venue in Fares and from there spent a week in Crespia. We only had 2 days to travel back up so 2 looooong days of driving took us to Limoges and finally Caen to get our ferry early morning.

We stayed in some beautiful places. Notably Les Petites Chamilles, just outside Sarlat, run by the parents of a friend I met through Twitter, L'Arcada which hosted the wedding and Hostal Nou where we spent the largest chunk after the celebrations.

The wedding was incredible, a 4-day celebration surrounded by friends and family. My parents are divorced and, though amiable, it's not often I get to see them both in one place so to have them, my brother plus my aunties, uncles, cousins and step-siblings not just together in one place but all dancing, laughing and enjoying each other's company was something special indeed.

All 3 places were located 'off the beaten track' and run by the most friendly, welcoming hosts we could have hoped for. Hostal Nou is owned by a Catalan family. As well as her day job as a teacher, Elena cooks the most amazing meals for the guests in the evening (saying they're 'amazing' actually doesn't do her justice. She went to cooking school for 2 years and the standard was unlike anything we've had for a very long time) runs the business with her husband and looks after her boys, age 2 and 5. The word 'superwoman' doesn't cut it for this lady!

The boys fell into a routine of waking at 9 (heaven after years of 5:30 starts!) having a siesta in the afternoon, eating with us at 9 then going to bed at 11. It worked really well and what struck me most about both France and Spain is the inclusion of children in everything. Going out of an evening, familes are all out together and it's perfectly acceptable to have toddlers at the table in restaurants at 9/10pm. They were given much attention everywhere we went with a pat on the head and a 'guapo' welcoming them in.

I won't drone on any more about the holiday itself, just to say that we had an amazing first proper family holiday. Lots of fun in the pool, taking in some beautiful parts of the country, immersing ourselves in the culture and eating some fabulous Catalan cuisine.